ReCreate-U is a blog created for U and others who find themselves dealing with similar issues and life struggles. I am looking for real people who are willing to be open and share their story so others may learn and be inspired. Please submit your story (not previously published elsewhere, including your own site), with your bio and photo. If you wish to remain anonymous, please let me know and I will honor your request.
Writing and expressing yourself and sharing with others is a cathartic experience and can be a very therapeutic way to release what may have been pent up for a very long time.
However, before submitting your story, I ask U to share what U have been through willingly, openly and honestly and, along with me, do so in the spirit that your experience may inspire and help others and allow them to learn from your experience.
Finally, please review and agree to the U-Inspire Submission Guidelines before U send your story, bio and photo.
Pay what you wish – $1.99 (min.)
This eBook is a compilation of short stories about 9 famous individuals who overcame
setbacks, failure and obstacles placed in their path before they achieved success.
Acceptance is the acknowledgment of yourself as U really are at the moment, with no illusions or self-deception.
Likewise, acceptance expands outward by acknowledging situations, other people, your whole world and overarching reality as it is, not as U would rather it be.
To invite acceptance is to face facts. No one can truly reinvent themselves without practicing the art of acceptance, because acceptance is a form of deep honesty and reinvention requires honesty.
The art of acceptance is also the art of living without preconditions or unrealistic expectations. Having expectations isn’t a bad thing, except when U try to treat your own expectations as facts. It’s easy to get caught up in a false world that’s governed by your expectations.
Your irrational expectations prevent acceptance in many cases. U have expectations yourself, other people, the world, the way life should go.
Consider how disappointing the following expectations are:
• Life should be fair.
• People should always treat me well.
• I need to be great at everything I do.
• People must like me.
• I must please other people all the time.
These are all irrational expectations that create misery and frustration. U will remain afflicted with disappointment because U are living in a state of conditionality, not acceptance. Acceptance may look a bit grim, but it’s far from it. Indeed, irrational expectations prevent acceptance in many cases.
• Life isn’t fair.
• People don’t always treat me well.
• I’m not great at everything.
• Some people don’t like me.
• I don’t please others all the time.
Accepting these as the rock-solid facts they are is liberating. Acceptance frees U from disappointment. It blows the doors to your own personal development wide open. Personal reinvention leads to fantastic developments only when U are willing to shed your illusions, preconceptions, and expectations.
What acceptance isn’t
If acceptance is an acknowledgment of facts, what is it not? Acceptance is not:
• Settling for less
• An excuse for negativity
Acceptance doesn’t mean U pretend to like a situation or that something doesn’t hurt or disturb. Instead, when U accept a situation as distressing, U own your feelings. The tendency is to shy away from things that are unpleasant, and many times in life you will face unpleasantries. Sometimes it’s not so much the hard truth that disturbs U as it is your thoughts and feelings about the truth.
It is a natural tendency to want to make things congruent and harmonious with your beliefs. Often, when faced with a fact that doesn’t fit in with worldviews, U will distort it to fit your own views, or U will ignore it altogether. That’s a false belief, but it’s the nature of the human psyche to keep U insulated from pain.
Often, that insulation gets applied before U make a rational analysis of a threat—or a change. Often U will feel threatened, and U will attempt to remove yourself from the danger, even if it means U haven’t accepted the reality of a situation.
Coping with reality always works better for reinvention than avoiding reality. Accepting reality never lets U down and always helps build U up. Given that reinvention is all about change U have to have a solid basis for correctly and realistically gauging what to change and how to go about it.
Acceptance is essential for inner peace, and it’s also essential for making life changes. As U begin to make changes, you’ll be able to discover how to carry out your personal transformation.
Acceptance of yourself isn’t the end of things. Acceptance is the beginning of reinvention, a re-awakening of your self.
Don’t reinvent the wheel, just realign it. ― Anthony J. D’Angelo
“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes – it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.”
― Maya Angelou
“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.” ― Heath L. Buckmaster
How would you describe your life thus far? Is it everything U have wished it would be? Do U believe your path has been within your control? Or has life’s natural energy and forces carved a path for U which U never intended to follow?
The reality is the life and path U follow are what have been designed for U. Life’s illusion is your belief that U have the ability and the knowledge to forge your own way. U may even feel the need to follow the path others have chosen for U. The reality is If U continue to fight and attempt to control where your life leads and resist outcomes, U are in for a battle. Unfortunately, with battles come battle scars. Resistance and struggle leads to additional resistance and struggle; not wellness, satisfaction and happiness.
Should U choose to approach life without any preconceived notions or expectations, U will calm the negative emotions and devastating physical outcomes that occur when life becomes a battle. When it’s a battle you choose, it becomes very difficult to avoid failure, loss, physical issues and life-long illnesses. The battle scars U may experience include anger and frustration, a defeatist attitude, low self-esteem, regret, sadness, depression, etc. When battling life, U will never open yourself up to the myriad of possibilities because your focus is on challenging your current path rather than realizing another path could be one of least resistance and personal fulfillment.
A wise teacher recently helped me accept how my life has been thus far. I have learned life is a series of lessons and every experience U have been given thus far is a gift to help U move along the path that has been chosen for U. You see, life JUST IS.
Dealing with chronic pain and other health issues hasn’t exactly been a bed of roses and has led to many changes in my life’s direction. The path carved out for me wasn’t the one I intended to follow. I have fought accepting my circumstances because my illusion was to continue to desire what I thought I couldn’t have.
My teacher likened my life’s approach to a bird injured and weighed down with pain standing on a cliff wildly flapping its wings attempting to get off the ground and soar. Despite symptoms of exhaustion, pain and a rising sense of defeat, a bird will continue its attempts to fly. If the bird continues to fight rather than resting and healing itself, the bird may eventually succumb to its pain and die.
Just like the bird, my goals were alluding me despite my best efforts. Wanting to soar, I did everything in my power and pushed myself beyond my capabilities to rise up. My goals and ambitions were admirable. Yet, my approach was less than stellar. I struggled, fought, flapped, flapped some more and finally wore myself out. I was on the brink of falling off the cliff because all I could see was the need to return to the path that I thought awaited me. I never looked to the sky and realize I could rise above my circumstances. I failed again and again to take flight because all I saw was a singular answer to my problem – “work harder and U will succeed”. I didn’t understand I was simply causing additional tension, strain and exhaustion with my approach which often resulted in the need to recoup for days before I was able to fully recover and attempt to get moving once again..
With my approach, I never noticed the winds which had been blowing in my direction all along. Deafened by my flapping wings and blinded by my all-encompassing effort to get back on track, I never heard or felt the wind on my face. I now realize, I simply needed to lean forward, spread my wings and wait for the air currents to sweep me up above the cliffs allowing me to move with ease along my path. There was never a need to flap my wings widely to get off the ground and follow my path; that was the illusion.
The reality is life will sweep U up and take U on a journey like no other. There are gifts that await U. Gifts U may have thought were long gone; never to be achieved. Follow the wind my friends and see where life leads, there is so much to experience if U embrace the path U have been given no matter its hardships. For in difficulties lies experience and growth. U can’t control how far U will go or where U will land but, if U spread your wings, U will SOAR. Take pride in how far you have come thus far. Do not beat yourself with statements such as “I should have…”, “if only I would have…”. There is no guilt in doing what you did. It was what you knew. With each new challenge along your life’s path – ACCEPT, EXPLORE AND SOAR.
“It’s the ‘everyday’ experiences we encounter along the journey to who we wanna be that will define who we are when we get there.” – Aaron Lauritsen
“Some days… I walk.
Some days… I run.
And on the odd day… I fly.
And when I have a really special day…I soar!”
– Anthony T.Hincks
About forty percent of all Americans will vow to change one thing or another about themselves this New Year. Often these goals and resolutions are never met. In fact, sixty percent of all individuals will have completely forgotten about the resolutions they have made within six months.
New Year’s resolutions usually fall under the following categories:
• Weight loss
• Personal development
• Health and diet
• Stress management
• Focusing on personal relationships
Carrying out your resolutions and goals can be accomplished. Read on to find out how.
1. Define your Motivation
There are 2 types of motivation:
• Intrinsic – this means your motivation comes from inside. For example, U prefer jogging, going to the gym, or shopping by yourself. The motivation for follow through comes from within and U are comfortable and motivated to accomplish your goal without the assistance of anyone but yourself. Just doing and participating is reward enough.
• Extrinsic – you’re motivated by actions outside your personal scope. The reward system is external. Accomplishing the goal may be more difficult without having someone by your side you help motivate U. U may also find U are in need of an external motivator such as a reward when you achieve your goal.
Once U figure out your motivation type, then all U have to do is put yourself in situations that make U more comfortable and excited to accomplish your goals.
2. Actions speak louder than results
Deciding on a goal for the New Year is always easier said than done. However, it’s the steps you take to reach that goal that are sometimes trickier. If you want to stick to your resolutions, it’s wise to break each step down into smaller goals to make them more manageable.
Finally, each time you achieve a step towards your goal, reward yourself and feel proud of what you’ve accomplished. Positive reinforcement is crucial to help guide U as you push towards your goal and commit to your responsibilities.
One way to keep everything in check is to make sure your goal setting and steps towards reaching your golas are S.M.A.R.T.:
• Specific – having a specific end result prevents you from making excuses.
• Measurable – evaluating your progress will give your motivation a boost.
• Achievable – U can set daily goals as a building block to bigger goals.
• Relevant – if it’s not relevant, why bother?
• Time-bound – goals need to have a defined end date.
3. Be Honest with Yourself
The more realistic your resolutions, the more likely you’ll see them through. If your goal for the New Year is to exercise more, then start small. Instead of planning a 5-day workout week, go for twenty minutes each day then increase gradually.
You’ll find, as with all goals, as soon as U start seeing what you’ve accomplished, you’ll be pumped to do even more. However, it’s crucial that U stay away from the “all-or-nothing” approach. Doing something, even if it’s a small piece of what you’d originally planned, is much better and more productive than doing nothing at all. Acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small, as U move towards reaching your resolution.
Moreover, it’s equally important to not have too many resolutions up in the air at once. Make a list, prioritize them, and go from there. Once U feel the first one’s in the bag, go for the second, and so on. Focusing on one goal at a time will channel your energy and efforts, helping U reach your target faster.
4. Think things through
Having a positive mindset is key when progressing towards your goals. However, let’s be honest; every plan is bound for failure if you’re not careful. Be smart and anticipate obstacles so that when they do appear, you’ll be prepared.
For example, if U get bored when you exercise, choose upbeat workout music that’ll get you revved up. Or U can workout at home, as you catch up on your favorite TV shows. If your motivation method is extrinsic, go to the gym with a friend. The idea is to nip obstacles in the bud before they becomes stronger than your willpower so that U can surmount any roadblock that comes between U and your goal.
5. Be accountable for your actions
Accountability means you’re taking responsibility for the choices you’re making. This may seem easy to do at work when U have a deadline and a boss reinforcing it. It may not seem as easy when you’re home alone and skip out on cooking a healthy meal, and order take-out instead.
- You can enlist the help of a friend or join a support group to insure commitment and follow through towards meeting your goals. By enlisting the help of someone else, you are not only accountable to yourself but to another person.
- Hang a calendar on your wall with progress notes so U can keep tabs how far you’ve gotten and what still lies ahead.
Keeping your New Year’s resolution may seem difficult to accomplish. However, applying these 5 steps, U will be more apt to stick to your goals. Once U accomplish your first resolution, you’ll be more apt to continue to set new goals for yourself and move towards balance and fulfillment.
“You are not creating a new you; you are releasing a hidden you. The process is one of self-discovery. The hidden you that wants to emerge is in perfect balance.” -Deepak Chopra, MD.
“If you are not where you want to be, do not quit, instead reinvent yourself and change your habits.” – Eric Thomas